Saturday, 4 February 2017

Change

I’m not very good at change.
Change means goodbyes and last times.
Change means losing traditions and the every day becoming nostalgia.

But what is life without change?
Without change we cannot grow.
Life is change.
This too shall pass.

Without change I wouldn’t have moved away to university.
To America. Twice.
Or changed jobs or tried new things or started running.

Change should be exciting. 
It should be fresh starts and new firsts.

But change is scary.
They say we can get used to anything, but taking that first step is terrifying.

I'm preoccupied with the things I'll miss.
Even the things I won't really miss.
I've created a nostalgic reality for myself before the change has even happened.
I'm in a constantly state melancholy, worrying about all the things I'll miss.
I mourn every bar and cafe and restaurant and museum I never visited.

Will I really miss being close to Chinatown that much, when I maybe go a handful of times a year?
Will I really miss the convenience of the city centre that much when I live and work in Stockport?
Will I really miss the bars and restaurants when they're only a bus journey away?
Will I really miss our first home when we have a house that's entirely ours?

Things will change. Everything will change. But there will be new, wonderful things to be excited about.
New traditions, new memories, new routines, new places to visit. 

Of course I'll miss it here.
Of course I'll miss our life here.
But we're going to have a new life somewhere new.
And maybe change will be a great thing too. 

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