Saturday, 19 June 2010


As I mentioned a few days ago, I'm off to Europe on Monday for two weeks so this is likely to be my last post for a couple of weeks!! I've had a mental few days but these photos are from Wednesday when I had a really chilled out day and then went to go and see Green Day who were immense!!

I absolutely love this outfit. These shorts were an absolute bargain from boohoo and I just thought they'd be really quirky and fun!! I was really happy with this outfit and how these photos came out. When I get back from holiday I promise more exciting photos will be on the way. I just need to rid myself of my anxiety standing posing with my tripod in public!!

striped top- primark red shorts- military cardigan- H&M boots- office jewellery- shop/accessorize

I am once again back being really into red lipstick!!

I got my results back from my exams and am proud to announce that I have achieved a 2.1 in my second year and am very happy!! I could've done better in a few of my exams where I got 59s and 58s (60 is a 2.1 :]]]) but I am so much better at essays than exams and in my final year I should only have 1 exam and the rest should be essays so I'm hoping that will take off some of the pressure!! My second year only counts for 12.5% anyway as the other 12.5% comes from my year abroad with the final 75% of my degree being from my final year marks.

So, what's new with me? Well in everyday life I have just gotten home after finishing my second year, which is very weird and I'm very emotional. I said goodbye to a lot of people who have come to mean the world to me this past year. You all know who you are. I had a bit of a cry at work last night. I know I say it all the time, but this year truly has been the best of my life. I really hope I don't lose touch with all the people who have really touched my life. All the people I work with, my friends on my course, and of course, my best friends. Fairgreen and the Glamour Girls- I love you all!! Last night was a great night at work. It was a bit stressful but I got to see all my friends celebrating their results and have one last shift for a year with the people I love. It's going to be an emotional few days- I'm glad that I have my holiday to take my mind off being sad!! It was awful leaving my empty bedroom with its white walls and empty wardrobe. That house has a lot of memories for me, and ones I won't be forgetting any time soon!!

But in more exciting fashion-y news, I found out yesterday that I won a competition I entered at Graduate Fashion Week to win a year's membership at Fashion Capital, which is rather exciting!! I also got an email from a friend in South Africa on Tuesday asking if I could write an article on fashion and football in light of the South African world cup, and even though the article has been heavily edited I'm really excited that it's here on the Cape Town touirst board website!!

I also met Stephanie from The Fashion Careers Clinic at Graduate Fashion Week and she spoke to me about going to the press release of her new book coming out about careers in fashion. I know a lot of people who read this are interested in fashion-y futures so I'll keep you updated on that one!! Have a look on the site for loads of fantastic advice for fashion careers :]]]

So yes, life is all a bit sad at the moment. I'm not great at goodbyes and I'm not great at change. I don't want this year to ever end, but I felt the same about 2008 and I've gone on to bigger and better things. I just hope I don't lose all the friends I've made along the way.I like to think that the people I have met the past year are the kind of people who will always be in my life, no matter what. And mobile phones and Skype and facebook mean there isn't really any excuse to lose touch.

Now for an afternoon of packing and sorting things out for holiday!! I absolutely hate packing and sorting and the worst part is that everything I want to take is going to be carried on my back for 2 weeks so while these next two weeks are going to be amazing, they may not be the most fashionable of my life!! There should be a lot of excitement when I get back though; starting to write for College Fashion and The Fashion Buzz and hopefully some more work experience and lots of fun!! This is my first holiday with my friends so I have no idea what to expect, but I'm sure it'll just be like us usually just abroad!! Three of us already live together so spending constant time together shouldn't be a problem!! Expect a massive update when I get back!!

Charlotte xxx

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

is feminism still a dirty word?

Okay, I'm no bra-burner. I like a guy to open doors for me, I like them to do the disgusting jobs that I don't want to do, and I like to be treated well. Truth is, I'm a total little girl who just wants to be looked after. And sometimes I play on it. But to be honest, I would definitely consider myself to be a feminist, or at least, I'm interested in feminism.

It's something I've been thinking about quite a lot recently. I enjoy reading feminist perspectives on different things. Right now I'm really interested in feminism in popular culture and I'm considering writing my dissertation for American Studies on something along those lines. I'm taking a course in feminism next year.

But am I a contradiction? Does an interest in fashion argue for a world where women should be dressed up as dolls and look perfect all the time and only be interested in shopping and clothes? I hope not. Because as far as I'm considered I fit into both categories. Just because I wear makeup and high heels and try to look good it doesn't mean that I don't get upset and offended when the boys at work describe me as "like a cheerleader. you're pretty but you're useless."

I still demand the right to be paid the same as a man, and more to the point, be employed in the same jobs as a man. I have been asked several times what I would do if a man asked me to be his wife, look good on his arm and he'd pay for me to go shopping every day. I replied that that would be my idea of hell. Recently I've become quite annoyed by the perception of me as "useless" just because I'm girly, into fashion and I conform to society's ideals of attractiveness. Which I am keen to point out is a recent thing. I was never a pretty child or young teenager and I always felt a need to prove myself to be funny or smart or good at things otherwise people didn't give me the time of day. I refuse to accept that just because I am "pretty" now I no longer have a purpose.

I find feminism very interesting. I am intrigued by theories and ideas. I bought a few books on feminism yesterday to prepare myself for my module next year and for my dissertation, and so far am really enjoying a book called Living Dolls by Natasha Walter. I've only read the first chapter so far but I have a feeling I'm going to find it very interesting.

I am a feminist, to some extent, but I am still very much a girl, and a girly girl at that. Yes, I enjoyed makeup and shopping, my sport of choice is dancing and I'm probably one of the least competitive people you will ever meet. But I dress up and look good for me, not for anyone else. I refuse to be objectified and while I often make sexual jokes and enjoy talking about sex, I can be a bit prudish in my ideals and morals. I will not become just a sex object. I am not a bra-burner or a lesbian or anything else that comes into the bracket of "feminist". I just believe in the rights of women and am interested in our roles in society and how they are portrayed in popular culture. So far I'm just really enjoying learning more about feminism.

I do think sometimes men are better at some jobs than women, and often women are better at other jobs than men. My ideas on feminism are only just forming, so I'll keep you updated on how I get on with my reading and research. As always, this is just a musing about what I think. It is in no way structured or an argument or anything more than my own thoughts on the page.

What do you think? Are you interested in feminism? Are you a feminist?

I'm really interested to hear what you have to say :]]]

Charlotte xxx

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

wild thing

I loved this outfit yesterday. It was so minimal effort but I felt like I looked really effortless and sexy. You may not agree!!

Yesterday was quite a boringly productive day. I got up early, faffed around for a few hours, caught up on Glee (but not on the finale yet!!) and then headed onto campus to do all those annoying little jobs that have been peppering my to-do list: taking books back I borrowed for tutors, reporting a book I think I may have lost (eek!!), going to the bank and desperately trying to sort out my tax stuff- blimmin' tax man owes me about £500!!

(I look a bit like a porn star on this picture but I strangely like it!!)

But my quite boring week has turned into quite an exciting week. From thinking I'd just spend yesterday evening working and then going home to bed I ended up going out and had a really good night!! Although I had almost nothing to wear because my parents had taken home all my going out clothes and the playsuit I was going to wear made me feel quite naked!! I went for a nude bandage skirt and vest top though, oh and my amazing shoes!! And big, fat red lips!!

And today is being spent recovering from said night out and going to town to get a bag and a hat for holiday ("The doctor came with his bag and his hat..."), going out for tea and going bowling!! So it's all gotten quite exciting!! I was getting very down about being bored yesterday, but I think with all this writing over summer I'm going to struggle to to bored!! I think I'll be spending a lot of time in a coffee shop with my laptop- I've never felt quite cool enough to do that!!

top/dress- H&M skirt- Top Shop belt- Primark boots- Office jacket- H&M

I've gotta say, I'm going to miss this little house. My other housemate moved out today and it's just so weird to see her room empty!! This year has gone so fast!! I can't believe I go on holiday on MONDAY!! It feels like we've been planning it forever; well, we have been for over a year now. We're flying to Athens for a few days in Greece, then heading off to Italy via ferry and going to Florence and Rome (which I adore), then up to Luxembourg, Switzerland and Paris. I can't wait. I will make sure I take lots of photos!!

Oh and I HAVE to show you these earrings; I love wearing them with this top- they're little leopards!! They were a present from one of my best friends a while ago. They're so adorable :]]]

Have a wonderful day whatever you're doing!!

Charlotte xxx

i'm so excited that I just can't hide it.

Wow. Today is an exciting day.

I just found out I'm going to be interning at College Fashion this autumn.

I can hardly breathe I'm so excited.

I know this summer is going to be absolutely crazy now, and I'm going to have to work really hard at balancing work and play, but I'm so unbelievably excited. I've been reading College Fashion since I was about 16, and writing for them has been a dream of mine for years now. I can't believe I'll actually be doing it.

I've had one of those revelations when you realise how hard you've worked. I'm a typically self-deprecating Brit and I'm always putting my achievement down to luck or other people. But I know I've done this myself. I started writing for my University newspaper and realised that my love of shopping and reading Glamour might actually have a career in it. I started reading up on blogs and finally started my blog in December 2009. It's taken a long time to get started, but I'm so proud of it now.

After my blog I followed with pestering Michael to be a writer for Student Fashion Blog, and he later recommended me to write for The Fashion Buzz, which I will be starting soon.

I then started mithering real life magazines, and finally had an opportunity to be a published writer for View magazine.

And now I'm an intern at College Fashion.

I have to admit, I'm very, very proud of myself. I've done an awful lot in 6 months. And for once in my life I'm going to be proud of the fact that I've emailed, and moaned, and mithered, but most of all, I've been dedicated.

And it's all paid off.

So far.

And right now it feels amazing.

(I do actually have an outfit post to do but it doesn't feel quite right now!!)


Sunday, 13 June 2010

thanks mum!!

girlnextdoorfashion now comes with business cards!! shame I have no-one to give them to!!

Aren't they cute?

Sorry outfit posts have been a bit MIA the last few days!! Truth is I haven't really worn anything interesting and it's been raining loads!! I have just ordered some amazing red military shorts from BooHoo though which I'm very excited about, but my parents came yesterday and took the majority of my clothes from my uni house :[[

I'm really sad to be leaving. Well, I'm excited about next year, but right now all I can think of is everything I'm leaving behind. It's hard to imagine next year right now because I have no idea what to expect. And what I do know is that this year has been the best of the life and I really don't want it to end.

I've loved so much of this year. Just being settled at uni, living with my best friends and all the fun and freedom that comes with that. As an only child I didn't deal well with moving to university and I don't cope well with change. My first year is a blur of being lonely; half the time spent trying to fix a relationship that was already broken, and the second half spent trying to accept that some things cannot be fixed. But this year I really found who my friends were. I've met and loved some amazing people. People who just make me happy by just being around. People who completely get me. And yeah, it hasn't all been plain sailing. I still get down, I still get lonely, but now I'm surrounded by people who pick me up when I'm down.

There has been heartache. But I've learnt that I can love again. And I guess all that you can do when faced with bad experiences is to learn from them. And I hope I have.

I've loved everything I've done this year, even at the times when the pressure I put on myself almost made me crack. Dancing five times a week was worth it when it came to the show, researching and working hard for the university newspaper was worth it to see my name in print, working at my bar job is great fun but not always the way I want to spend my day, but I've received the benefits in great friends and a great social life, as well as the money to fund my ever growing wardrobe.

I can definitely say I can look back on this year with a smile. And I hope I say the same thing next year. The thought of moving away from my amazing life here is terrifying. But I'm excited to find out what I'll learn on the way.


Saturday, 12 June 2010

“Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not.”

You often find when you are coveting the style of someone you admire that style is often quite specific to a particular person. And you more often than not hear someone's rejection of something a bit different as "it just isn't my style." But finding your own style isn't necessarily easy, and it's something that is constantly evolving.

I feel at twenty years old I've finally found my own style. I can finally walk into a shop and find something straight away that I consider to be "me", but at the same time I think it's important to stay constantly inspired by new things, constantly wanting to try new things, always curious. I probably wouldn't have thought a year ago I'd adore the nude trend as much as I have done; being quite pale means that previously I'd swear anything off that I thought could potentially make me look deathly. But it turns out I love it, having seen it in magazines and on mannequins, I finally felt ready to explore it for yourself.

But I fear people considering finding their own style to be a hindrance. I hear so many people saying "oh that just isn't me" or "that doesn't suit me" way before even trying it on. Just because you have hips it doesn't mean you can't wear skinny jeans, and having a small chest doesn't mean you can't go strapless. Clothes should be fun, and you should be constantly trying new things. Your style should evolve with changing fashions.

But I emphasise the difference between style and fashion. Trends may be forever changing, but style is universal. Fashion is something you can buy, style is something you must possess.

I was inspired to write this mind-dump after spending a little too long on Look Book today and feeling inspired, wanted to try something new. After parading round for about an hour and still not feeling quite right, it came to me, this just wasn't me. As much as I tried to look like one of the girls on Look Book, the truth was, it just wasn't me. I didn't quite feel comfortable, I didn't quite feel right. So I changed. Just into something easy and everyday- a £2.99 striped H&M skirt and a red vest top, but already I feel much better. I feel much more me.

I find that I should be inspired by everything. I feel people are always expecting new and exciting outfits, and new and exciting outfit posts. And now I've joined Look Book I feel like I should be one of these girls who can throw on any combination of things and look amazing. But I guess that just isn't me. I have friends who can do that (Ellen, that's you); just throw something together with an air of effortlessness and just look amazing. But I've never been able to do that. My laddered tights may have been laddered by mistake, but I wear them with intent. They're meant to look like I'm not trying too hard. Which if course, I always am.

Every outfit I've ever put together has been carefully planned. I can't pull off throwing things on. It never looks right. My style is carefully constructed; never mismatched. And if I feel a combination doesn't quite look right, I'll change until I feel comfortable. I'd love to have that effortless, messy cool look. But I guess that just isn't my style.

Blogger of the Month: Kristi!!

First of all, a plea for help. I really need some help sorting out my layout. I used to be a total wizz at coding and layouts (I was a huge LJ nerd in my youth) but I've completely forgotten all the experience from years of making my own websites when I was younger. I just need to totally revamp my layout. I want to sort out the bars down the side so I can add new things to them. I just want to make the whole thing more customizable. If anyone could give me a hand, please drop me an email at :]]]

Right so back onto our blogger of the month!!

Kristi and I got talking a few months ago because I just loved her style. Everything about her is so uniquely pulled together. I love her little blazers and scarves and her gorgeous little heeled boots. I just think her and her style are adorable, and I'm really excited about her being my blogger of the month!!

Here's a little interview I did with her and some of my favourite of her outfits :]]]

Blogger of the Month: Kristi of Accio Hagrid!!

1. Tell me a little bit about yourself!!

Let's see... My name's Kristi, I'm currently a Junior and almost a Senior in High School. As you can tell by the name of my blog I'm a crazy Harry Potter fan. I'm super in to the HP fandom and I listen to Wizard Rock and everything, haha! I live in Seattle, WA - yes the hometown of Microsoft and Starbucks, and yes I love coffee. But I do prefer tea. I love art, especially oil painting, but lately I've lost the time to do more work. I'm a total nerd and I'm currently taking four Advanced Placement classes.... sigh. : ( This makes my life miserable. My favorite band is Death Cab for Cutie.

2. When and how did you first get into blogging?

I started my blog back in June of 2008, but I'd just post random things I'd find, book reviews, etc. I only really got into the fashion blogging world in November of 2008, when I discovered Lookbook. From there, I found blogs and slowly started to follow more and more. My blog's been solely dedicated to style since the beginning of this year, since my New Year's resolution was to blog more.

3. What inspires you?

Definitely the blogs that I follow and things I see on Lookbook. There are a couple girls at school whose styles I covet, and they inspire me as well. I'm completely over magazines... I used to subscribe to so many but one day I was just too lazy to renew my subscriptions so they ran out. And I'm not heartbroken. haha!

4. What 5 items do you think ever girl should own?

Oh, that's hard! Okay, well first of all a good belt can totally transform any outfit. I see so many girls around that would benefit from just a simple waist-defining belt. Next would be tights. I find them to be much more comfortable than jeans, which is probably why I wear skirts/dresses so much. Third would be a good solid pair of boots. My favorite pair is from Bass, which seems like it's an old-lady shoe store, but they have such good quality and comfortable shoes. Especially considering where I live is super rainy, boots are a necessity. Fourth would be a grey boyfriend cardigan. They go with any outfit and can transition from season to season. Fifth... a circle scarf. The American Apparel circle scarf is seriously like magic. I wear mine to school nearly every day - it works as a scarf, a dress, a hood, a headwrap (for rain haha), a blanket... the list is endless.

5. What are your hot picks for summer 2010?

I'd have to say Chambray and denim pieces. I'm still on the hunt for something equivalent to American Apparel's oxford dress in a chambray color because their sizing didn't fit me well. Obviously a lot of florals, but the pattern of the moment is really stripes. I see the nautical trend taking off.

6. Where do you see yourself (and your blog) in 5 years?

Well, hopefully I'll be graduating college by then and on to the "real world"!! I hope I can continue my blog, and I really want to stay consistent in my posting. It's so easy to slip away for a few weeks and then completely lose track of blogging. This blog has really forced me to be more creative in my outfit choices and become more conscious of my appearance, which I really think is a positive thing! I hope to God that I won't become one of those college students moping around campus in a hoodie, sweatpants, and Uggs.

7. How do people react to you being a blogger?

Well... usually I don't tell them, haha! Only a couple of my close friends know. One of them is really into the blogging world and has her own style/beauty blog as well. The other was really surprised that I take the time to get pictures almost daily, but is supportive

8. How would you describe your style?

I would say girly, classic, and relatively conservative. Well, not to the point where I'm covering every inch of my body, haha, but I'm not going to go parading around in a butt-length miniskirt without leggings, unlike many people on the hot pages of Lookbook. My main aesthetic is balance. A baggy top will look better with a tighter bottom half, and vice versa. This applies to color as well.

9. What are you lusting after right now?

A chambray/oxford-colored dress! I really love the one at AA, but their sizes are either XS/S or M/L and I'm in between. When I tried it on at the store, the smaller one was way too tight (I couldn't move my arms!) and the big one was like ginormous.

10. Where are your favourite places to shop?

I'd have to say Forever 21 and Urban Outfitters. I can always find good deals at F21, and UO has great sales. I'm a total bargain hunter and probably won't pay for something over $25 or 30. I also really love Target!

11. Who are your fashion idols?

Well, I don't follow many celebs' styles too closely, but Rachel Bilson is always super adorable and polished. Alexa Chung, of course, is fantastic. Although I watched her give an interview one time and her voice really scares me. She has a super low voice. But anyways, I'd also have to say that Nicole Richie is beautiful, and although bohemian isn't really my style, I think she always looks so ethereal. Even though I despise the Hills and the City, the girls from those shows are always really on-trend.

12. What are some of your favourite blogs?

The blog that introduced me to the fashion blogging world is Selective Potential, and I really really love her style. It's so girly and relaxed at the same time, and that's what I aim for. Actually I'd have to say all the girls of the Delightful Dozen - Calivintage, Delightfully Tacky, Idee Geniale, Orchid Grey... Also, Adored Austin and Kendi Everyday never fail to make me laugh out loud. The Clothes Horse, Le Blog de Betty, and Pandora are always stunning.

13. What is your home town like?

I actually live in a suburb of Seattle, a short 30 minutes away. The city I live in is pretty small, and we have a really lame mall that only has Pac Sun and American Eagle in it. Basically, I have to look elsewhere in terms of shopping/style. The girls here are really stylish, though, if not a little too much overdosing on florals, fake tans, and Ugg boots. My school is actually pretty well-known for its environmental science programs, and our school even has solar panels on it, and is heated by geothermal energy. This has kind of transferred to our town, and the community in general is pretty eco-friendly.

14. What is your favourite thing about summer?

No school and sleeping in! Of course! But in terms of style, it's so refreshing to have ONE season when raining is at its minimum. I spend most of the time in dresses, and I look forward to lazy days on the beach.

15. How do you keep your outfits looking new and original? How do you mix things up?

Well a lot of the time I'll look through my hyped list on Lookbook and try to recreate an outfit that I like. Other times I'll take one central item and try to balance a look around it. It's sort of like playing mix-and-match with the same tops and skirts.

16. You seem to make a lot of things on your blog- how do you get inspired to make jewellery etc?

Aw, thanks for noticing! Well I guess I could say that I'm pretty artistic, and art has really been a central part of my life for a long time. For a while a couple years back, I was really into making jewelry, so I have a lot of tools, beads, etc. I guess my crafti-ness comes from my mom. She really is like the Crafting Queen. Plus, I really like having a unique piece that no one else has.

17. What do you do when you are not blogging?

My life is so sad. Most of the time is spent doing homework. Seriously. But other than schoolwork, I enjoy playing guitar and ukulele. I taught myself how to play both, so I'm not all that great at it, but it's really fun. I spend a lot of time reading as well. I love watching TV - Glee, SNL, Lost (tear), Grey's Anatomy, Ugly Betty (tear)... I also spend a lot of time at Target. No joke, haha, I'm there like once a week. Other than that, I hang out with friends. :)

So if you haven't already, gogogo check out her blog!!

More about me later :]]

Charlotte xxx

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Graduate Fashion Week and other exciting times at GNDF!!

Well hello there!! I am proud to announce that along with my feature at Handswen Hearts, I am also featured over at Accio Hagrid by one of my favourite new bloggers, and people, Kristi!! I will be interviewing her over here too and we're hoping to do a couple of guest posts, so go check her blog out, she's fantastic!!

Well, Graduate Fashion Week- what a day!! You can read my full report for Student Fashion Blog here, but I wanted to do a more personal experience of it over here :]]] The day started bright and early at 6.15am when my alarm went off and Ellen and I walked down to the station for our train at 8am. We finally arrived in London after a 4 hour coach journey at 12.45pm- 15 minutes before we were meant to be at our first show!! Obviously, that never happened, but we arrived in plenty of time for the International Show. Graduate Fashion Week was awesome. Full of designers and interesting creations and lots of people to talk about fashion to. I had a press ticket which allowed me a big badge saying "Press" which if nothing else made me feel awesome!! I also had my photo taken pretty much as soon as we got in by another Press badge holder who asked me "who are you working for?". That was pretty exciting!!

The whole day was spent chatting to people, receiving and picking up business cards (though I cursed myself for not having some myself- luckily my mum is in printing and has designed and ran me off 50 this week which are gorgeous!!) and learning a lot.

The show was fantastic, and while scribbling down notes and spying the Telegraph's fashion reporter opposite us, I felt like a true professional. Sitting there I just thought, yes, this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

And while I was there, look who I met!!

I told her I was a huge fan and a blogger too and she went on my blog!! How amazing is that?! Meeting Susie was amazing, and I'm so glad Ellen convinced me to go back and get a picture!!

So generally, GFW was a fantastic day. I loved being a reporter and chatting to people. I really wish I'd had business cards on me, both for me and for SFB but maybe next time!! I wish people had made more of an effort to talk to me instead of me having to talk to them but I guess that is in the nature of the job. I didn't quite feel confident enough yet to go up to people and talk to them, but I'm hoping I will have the confidence next time!!

In other exciting news, it's looking pretty likely that I'll be starting writing for The Fashion Buzz soon, which is very very exciting!! It's my first experience of paid blogging and I'm looking forward to learning a lot from it!! I also finished my article for the magazine at home and she loved it so hopefully I'll get getting a copy of that soon which I will scan for you all!!

And finally, thanks to the amazing Kristi (who I will be featuring in my next post!!) I am now a member of Look Book!! I've not really had a chance for an outfit post lately but I promise as soon as I get chance I will do some more- I've just been too busy to be stylish the last few days!!

Hope you're having a lovely day!!

Charlotte xxx

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Just a quickie...

I will update at some point this week about Graduate Fashion Week (and a certain exciting someone that I met there!!) but I haven't got time right now with writing up this magazine article. BUT I'm blogger of the month over at Handsewn Hearts and you can go read my interview here.

LOTS to tell you so keep reading!!


Saturday, 5 June 2010


I am restless. But at the same time fed up of being busy.

I'm just completely discontent.

My exams are over, my Visa is sorted and I go on holiday in 2 weeks but I still feel like something is missing.

I loved yesterday but I have a phone interview tomorrow and the article to write up and I just feel like I have so much to do and so little time.

I feel like I'm constantly busy.

I'm always doing things for ends that won't materialise for years yet.

But will I be happy then?

And what is happiness? And what is simply being content? And which is better?

Am I just part of a generation that never feels completely satisfied?

I think of how I want my life to be in ten years. I want to be a successful journalist at a good magazine doing a job I love. Maybe freelance by this point if I have children, or high enough up that I no longer need to be up at 5am working in the city til midnight. I want to be married. I want someone who I adore, someone who makes me completely happy.

But will I ever find someone who won't hurt me, who ticks all the boxes?

And if I manage to find myself working for a magazine as a journalist, will that be enough? Will I always want more?

Will I regret things I didn't do when I was younger? Will I regret things I'm doing, or not doing right now?

I never fear regretting things I did. I fear regretting things I didn't do.

What is feeling content?

Is this a good thing, that I'm always striving for something more? That I always want to work hard and do as much as I can, even if it means I'm always stressed out and find it impossible to relax. Constantly restless. Brain constantly whirring.

Do I maybe lose sight of why I'm doing things? Do I forget that I write for so many blogs and magazines so that I can email companies for work experience and they can think, yes, they have work hard and deserve to work here? Do I forget that I work at my bar job for the money to be comfortable, to enable me to buy what I need and what I want?

Is it what my Dad always says, that I'm just too hard on myself and my achievements?

Is this the typical self deprecating British? Never celebrating by dumbing-down their achievements?

I wonder if I'll feel differently a year from now.

I just always feel like there's something missing. Something in my life that needs tweaking. I always feel someone else has it better. More opportunities. Smarter. Prettier. Funnier.

Maybe it's the end of my second year, and for all the time that I've been down, it's been an amazing year. Maybe it's just the anticipation of change, something which I have never been able to handle well. Maybe I feel so discontent because now I finally feel content everything is changing?

I hope that change will be good, and that one day I will feel completely content, and I will find strength in situations that challenge me and not shy from them in fear of stress.

One day I hope I will be able to stop worrying about the future.

Perhaps that is contentedness.


I wake up scared to phone her, realise I'm a loner in love


Sorry it's been a couple of days since my last update- crazy week!!

I got a phone call on Wednesday morning (the day of this outfit in fact!!) asking me if I could come home on Friday (yesterday) to do a couple of interviews for work experience for a new magazine launching in my area. So yesterday I spent the day being a real life journalist!! I was doing interviews with people, being introduced as "my journalist" and "the writing department" and absolutely loved it!! It was so exciting to be a real journalist for the day and Angela who runs the magazine said I did really well!! Such great experience and as the magazine grows I'm hoping to be able to write more and even write from America!!

I'm so excited; it's the first time I've really felt like "I can do this, I can be a journalist". I mean granted, it was interviewing and not really the kind of journalism I'm interested in, but it's a start!! I have a phone interview with a band tomorrow too!!

How perfect is this top for me? I saw it a few days ago and thought "I absolutely have to have that!!" I love it, I want to wear it all the time!! Wonder if it will help me nab my Geeky American boy? Fingers Crossed!!

tshirt- David and Goliath skirt- Top Shop socks- unknown belt- primark shoes- peacocks pearls- Top Shop

Well Monday I'm going to Graduate Fashion Week for Student Fashion Blog!! I guess I can add interviewer and reporter to my CV now!! I'm really really excited even though it's going to be horrifically long day, plus I have no idea what to wear. But one thing I will be wearing as these amazing shoes I bought on Wednesday. They're sort or like cloggy peep-toe-y shoe boot-y things!! They're beyond gorgeous!!

Look out over the next few posts for an exciting collaboration between myself and the gorgeous and fabulous Kristi of Accio Hagrid!! GOGOGO read her blog now- she's fantastic!!

I'm off to go play rounders in the park and I'm very excited!! But my housemate Emily moves out today so I'm also really really sad today. I can't believe it's the end of my second year already!! It's all gone so fast!!

Please drop me a comment; I'd love to hear what you have to say!! Especially if you have any ideas for what I should wear to graduate Fashion Week!!

Have a lovely Saturday!!

Charlotte xxx