Sunday, 20 September 2015

Ode to Britney

A wise woman (okay it was Britney Spears) once said, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" and that's exactly how I feel about my wardrobe right now. I look at some of my little skater dresses and tulle skirts and feel way too old for them, but then I look at my pencil skirts and heels and just don't quite feel there yet. I'm feeling a bit stuck to be honest. I look back to what I consider my "blogging heyday" of autumn 2011 and I try to get myself inspired by those old outfits when I used to try so hard, when I used to wear ridiculous heels to walk to uni and I don't feel like that is me either.
Yesterday we had a family meal. It wasn't a big fancy affair. Just a carvery meal with my extended family and a few drinks but I wanted to look nice. I ended up pulling about 20 items out of my wardrobe. Jones and Jones dresses that felt too short and too young for during the day, though I once wore them with converse in the summer without batting an eyelid. Fancy fitted dresses which felt more date night than afternoon roast. Pencil skirts and blazers that made me look like I was going to a job interview. My patterned trousers that I remembered I wore last time I saw my extended family.
Truth be told, I'm living in jeans and jumpers at the moment and rotating the same few dresses at the weekends and when I have evening plans. Living in an expensive flat in the centre of town means I don't have the money nor the inclination to spend all the money I used to on new clothes all the time. It feels like a waste when I know at 7.55am when I need to leave the house I won't be bothered to plan outfits like I used to. 
I've got a taste for "grown-up" shops like Oasis and Warehouse, but I don't yet have the "grown-up" salary I need to shop their often. 
And this isn't just about clothes. I feel like this in a lot of my life. On a good day I feel like living in our flat is just like playing house. On a bad day I just don't want to adult. At work I constantly feel I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm only four weeks away from my boss going on maternity leave and being left to run the marketing team on my own. I see people my age on Facebook getting engaged, getting married and having kids and I think oh my god we are so not there yet. I'm just a kid.
I sometimes have to take a double take when I realise I'm 25. How on earth did this happen? How was my year abroad five years ago? My graduation 3 years ago? What have I done in that time?
Anyway. There is a point here, I promise. 
This dress is one of the things that's been a go-to throughout this period of transition. It's just about wearable for work (my office is very casual), I've worn it to drinks, I've worn it on a night out, I've worn it during the day.
If I'm honest, it was a little out of my comfort zone, but after I got some lovely comments on this post I decided I should embrace dresses that are a little more... form fitting. This one isn't quite as clinging as the one in my previous post (I'm still too scared to wear it out of the house!) but I feel like it's a good mix of young print and more grown-up style.
dress - c/o House of Fraser
necklace - River Island
shoes - ASOS
leather jacket - Boohoo
Another problem of this weird transition is shoes. I have short, stumpy legs that only heels can elongate but as I've gotten older I've started to really resent wearing heels. I'm impatient and hate impracticality so wearing heels just stresses me out. But when I want to wear things like pencil skirts and dresses like this I never feel comfortable in ballet flats. I bought these shoes a few weeks ago (and a near-identical nude pair) in the hope that they would be a kind of in-between shoe - flat for comfort but pointy to not make me look too stumpy. So far I think they've been a pretty good happy medium so far. Plus they were £12.
We're off to Spain on Thursday and it cannot come fast enough. I am so ready for a break. My parents' apartment seems to be the only place where I can truly relax because there's nowhere I need to go, nothing I need to see because I've been coming since I was 14. It's the only place where I can start to slowly tune down my "Charlotte-isms", but I'm sure it will still take me a few days to truly relax. Last year was one of the best holidays I can remember, so I'm looking forward to it so much. Plus with Phil having been before now my Mum, Dad and I won't be spending the whole time showing him around!
I hope you're having a lovely Sunday. I went out this morning for my last super-long run before the Great Birmingham Run in 4 weeks. With going on holiday for a week, and then going on a hen do for the weekend straight after, I'm going to be away for two Sundays, so I did my last 12 mile run today, with the plan to just do a few long-ish runs between now and the race. I'm actually really excited for the race and my run this morning felt really great (though I'm pretty sore now!) so I'm hoping losing 10 days of running won't be too much of a problem (I am taking my trainers to Spain but I think it will be too hot to run). I'm spending the rest of the day listening to the football, making a roast dinner and curling up with a film tonight.

Hope your weekend is going well!

Charlotte x

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