Things have been pretty chilled around here since we got back from the Lake District, and that's been exactly what we've both needed. We've both been pretty frazzled lately, and absolutely desperate for a few days away. We spent the four days we were in the Lakes not planning, not rushing, not panicking, not fretting. Just sitting in beer gardens and reading, going on walks, taking trips to other little villages, exploring and playing board games. It was absolutely perfect. And thankfully, that chilled feeling seems to be prevailing. Hence why I haven't blogged in nearly two weeks. Of course I'm still been meal planning and cooking and doing the washing and food shopping and complaining about responsibilities, but I've only had one (maybe two..) meltdowns this week.
Sometimes it's nice not to plan. On the afternoon of the first day we arrived in the Lakes, we were sat in a beer garden. I was engrossed in my book, drinking a cider and Phil was reading a magazine. The sun was shining and for once, I felt completely at ease. Usually, even on holiday I'm 100 miles an hour. Planning all the things I want to do, rushing around, hurrying everyone up, insatiably bored. But on that Thursday afternoon Phil said to me, "what we are doing tonight?" and I said "I don't know, I haven't thought about it." And I think that was a first. For once, I was just living in the moment. Enjoying the sunshine, my book, the break, the company. For once I wasn't rushing ahead to what might be coming next.
Phil and I have watched a film after work nearly every day this week, something we rarely do purely because I always have too much to do. I didn't do the weekend's washing til Tuesday and didn't put it away til Saturday. I didn't blog. I didn't do half the things I had wanted to do, and moved everything down on my to-do list. And for once, it was nice. Yesterday we went to parkrun, and after the food shop and some cleaning, we didn't need to leave the house for a few more hours. So I relaxed. I settled down upstairs and labelled my recipe books, something I'd wanted to do for ages. I made a curry for us to come home to the cinema to, but I enjoyed the process instead of stressing about always needing to cook. Today I got up when my body woke me up at 6.15am, and went out for an 8 mile run at 7am. I put the slow cooker on, I did some washing. I did everything on my to-do list by 11am. So we wandered into town to see what was happening for Manchester Day. There was no pressure. No desperate need to see or do anything. We came back home and we're both quietly doing our own thing. I might read my book. I might look through my recipe books. We might watch some TV together. We might not.
I'm realising that I don't have to do everything, at least not right now. Some things can wait. Sometimes watching a film together is more important than cleaning the living room. Sometimes you should get mac and cheese balls from a food stall even when you've got a chilli going in your slow cooker. Sometimes you need to not worry about money or wasting time or being organised quite so much. Sometimes you just need to live.