September Life Lately
I promise I am not going to keep starting all these blog posts with "ermagerd it's [month]" but it really is hard right now!
It feels a while since I last wrote here - so much so that my Mum asked me last week if I was still writing this blog!
I am, still here. Coming up to 11 years later!
I've got so so many posts in drafts and I feel like I'm not far off one of those periods where I just want to write constantly. I have a journal full of ideas of topics and I think maybe now the nights are drawing in I'll feel a bit more inspired to write.
I've also had a lot of thoughts lately about the length and topics of my blog posts. I write this monthly review post every month and they take at least 2 or 3 days to finish and clock up at upwards of 1,500 words a time. That's a lot of words and a lot of time! This blog post could easily be 3 or 4 different posts. I kind of miss just spontaneously writing just because I have some inspiration. Last month I had a post in drafts I wrote in 20 minutes while I dried my hair, but I never posted it because it didn't feel long enough or didn't feel like it had enough of a point. I've had posts in drafts for months purely because they feel like such big hefty topics that I want to make sure they're complete, and it's just meant months and months of work potentially going out of date or not feeling relevant. I want to get back to writing a few hundred words on a topic just because I feel like it, and every blog post not needing days to complete! So many other bloggers I know write these little posts and I love them, so I don't know why I feel the need to write such long and in depth posts, and don't bother writing up my little ideas. I have a few ideas but I'm naturally quite verbose so it's hard for me to come up with topics which don't requite an essay on! But I have a few posts ideas so watch this space!
Anyway, here we are, October. I've just ordered a load of new, bright and brilliant jumpers (I absolutely love Sugarhill Boutique for most things, but knitwear especially), my candles are ready to be lit, and we have a few roast dinners on the meal planning list over the next few weeks. Phil has a list of films ready for "October horror films only", I have a books-to-read list as long as my arm, and The Haunting of Bly Manor starts next week.
As positive as I'm trying to sound, the last few weeks have been tough. As the weather started to turn last week, both Phil and I (and it seemed, a lot of people we knew) found ourselves spiralling. It was cold and grey and miserable, and there was just nothing to look forward to. Where I live in Stockport, we had less than a month of being out of local restrictions before we were forced back in again. Christmas loomed gloomily on the horizon, and everything felt uncertain and dull. We're bored and restless but also anxious about keeping safe and following the rules. We ambitiously started what we thought would be fairly minor work on the house which has now left us with our bedroom stripped of its wallpaper and it feeling naked and unfinished, the office room completely out of use with bare brick and leaving Phil to work in the front room with a desk shoved against a bookcase and everything feeling dusty and messy. The house feels in limbo which makes us feel even more uncomfortable and uncertain, and makes us want to escape the only place we can really be right now.
And like a lot of other people, we have been fighting ourselves and our "right" to be miserable. We both have our jobs and both love working from home, we're forever grateful we got married last year (I cannot tell you how upset I feel for everyone who planned to get married this year and what you're going through. I really can't imagine it), we have our wonderful dog and our home and lots of friends and family on the end of the phone. Neither of us have had the virus or have lost anyone we love. We're coping okay just the three of us, and we're so grateful to have our space and each other.
But this last week has been better. We didn't force ourselves to feel better but after a few days of not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, there was a tiny glimmer of hope, and thankfully we're feeling slightly better. The house is still a mess, working on a dining chair is still uncomfortable and the house is still freezing (the heating went on last week!),but we're going to throw ourselves into autumn and winter the best we can.
Here's what I got up to in September (and here's my One Second Every Day for the month):