Sunday, 11 July 2010

could do better.

Do you ever feel like your life-report would be reviewed as "could do better" ?

I know I put too much pressure on myself, maybe "must try harder" isn't the case, but I always feel like I should do better than I do.

I should get better marks in my exams, I should get more comments on my blog, I should get more views, I should get better work experience, I should take better photographs, I should get more hypes on Lookbook.

Is this just a reaction to the fact that I'm spending my days doing very little, and that I feel guilty for not being constantly stressed beyond what I can handle? Do I feel that I don't deserve to do doing nothing, that I should be constantly trying to better myself?

Where does this come from? Constantly comparing myself with other people; measuring my achievements up against theirs. I want to get the best grades whilst also managing to be the best at the job, do the most dance classes, have the best social life and also have the most free time, get the most sleep, feel the most relaxed.

At what point do you realise you can't have it all?

Why do I pressure myself so much? Why can I never be proud of myself, but I always want more? Will I ever be good enough for me?

xxx

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