the scene is dead and i'm still restless.

I have a very, very short attention span. Ridiculously. Sometimes I can't understand how I manage to get through the day, studying, reading, my degree. But the thing is, I can't concentrate on anything if I don't have to. I get bored very easily. Especially over summer, because I have nothing to do.

I get bored being home. I have to be constantly stimulated and I just don't get that at home. I spend my days alone and I have to find something, anything to entertain me. I have things to do, sure, but I have no deadlines, no urgency. So I don't do it.

I have a job I could go back to, but I hate it and I can't bring myself to go back. I just need something to fill my days. I'm thinking of trying to find some volunteering work to do. Go help the elderly, or work in a charity shop or just help out somewhere. I feel that that would be much more fulfilling. Or taking some classes. I might learn to sew or take some photography classes or join a book group. I think I need to get researching; go out and find out what I can do. I like walking around and I like going to see people. I like to get out of the house to do my writing. But even finding someone to go write is becoming a problem!! My local libraries don't have wireless internet and I don't fancy sitting in McDonald's trying to write about fashion!!

I need routine in my life. I need to get up with a sense of urgency, something to do. My dad says I can't relax. That's exactly what it is, I'm restless. I hate not having plans. I need ways to fill my time. I need things to look forward to. I'm sick of wandering round the shops or else sitting at home on my laptop, mindlessly checking facebook.

I do have things to do though. I have two weeks work experience coming up at silk-works which I'm really looking forward to, and I have jewellery to get for my auntie's wedding this Saturday, and plus I'm now writing for The Fashion Buzz and College Fashion as well as for my own blogs and Student Fashion Blog and View magazine up here. I just need to get into a routine of going somewhere, writing, walking around, having lunch and then having my afternoons to myself. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to be a freelance journalist. I just don't know if I'm self motivated enough to go freelance. I need to be busy, I need pressure, I need someone breathing down my neck. I am prone to almost breaking down when stressed, but I work at my best when I have a lot to do.

I'm not sure if I just need to learn to relax, or if I just need to fill my time. I'm hoping this post will inspire me

Any ideas of what I can do with myself?

Charlotte xxx


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