Monday, 14 July 2014

Show me my Silver Lining

It feels good to finally be honest with you about my current situation. It's a relief. I feel like I've been hiding some kind of dark and horrible secret from you the last few weeks and if there's anything you know about me at all it's that I have a really tough time not being honest. 
My self confidence at the moment is at an all-time low, which isn't great when you've got job interviews and meetings with recruiters left right and centre. It's also affecting my other relationships because I just feel so low all the time. Yesterday I cried because it took me longer than expected to complete the Race for Life. Even though the race is about raising money and awareness and celebrating the lives and memories of amazing people. Even though I hate Heaton Park and its stupid hills. Even though it was warm. Even though I hadn't run for over a month. I was just hoping for something to make me feel good about myself and it didn't. 
Even though you know, and are repeatedly told, that redundancy is not personal, that it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's hard not to take it to heart. It's hard not to question yourself and your abilities. It's hard not to feel completely and utterly let down.
Anyway, let's go back to talking about clothes.
This used to be one of my favourite outfits to wear to work, and it's instead become one of my favourite job interview outfits (with a pair of nude heels of course). I also alternate between this jacket and my new mint boucle jacket. Boucle jackets are my new favourite thing. Oh and I also need about 5 more shirts like this. I'm really messy and always spill down myself, but this is the perfect silky white shirt. Not too school uniform. 
jacket- River Island
shirt- c/o Glamorous
trousers- New Look
flats- Dorothy Perkins
Aside from the slow-running-induced meltdown, I've actually had a really nice weekend. Despite my running, Race For Life was an amazing, humbling experience and I'll be posting about it later this week. I spent all weekend with Phil. Saturday we skyped his family who are on holiday in Australia, watched How to Train Your Dragon (HOW GOOD IS IT?!) and went for a curry in Rusholme. Sunday we went to my race, came home and made lots of cheese on toast, watched Prisoners and the World Cup Final and had tuna and feta pasta bake for tea. I've got a busy week of interviews this week which is good. It's good to keep busy and just keep going. I think that's all I need to remember right now. Just to keep going and that I only need one job. Maybe things aren't moving as quickly as I expected but these things take time. And hopefully, soon, I'll get something that was worth waiting for.

Charlotte x

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