The Organized Girl
I am an organized person. I often feel as though I'm not, and I have too much to handle and everything is spiralling out of control. But even that is a result of my serious attention to what I have to do and overwhelming fear of forgetting something important.
My diary is organized with everything I have to do until next summer, every day I make a schedule for what I'm going to do that day, and I make so many lists that I bought a white-board so I can avoid killing the trees. There is no time for spontaneity in my life.
I'd love to be one of those people who can just accept an invitation at the last minute, and forgo any other plans, if they had any, but I guess it just isn't in my nature. I'm not laid back, I'm not chilled out. I like order and schedules and obsessive compulsion.
I realised this last night when reading an article on Cosmo entitled "Do you know the real you?", and whether you were spontaneous or organized was one of the discussions it featured. I also realised it when moments after I made plans with my housemates, immediately grabbed my diary to secure my plans and then looked at the blank whiteness on my Saturday page and asked "what are we doing on Saturday?" On Sunday night.
But as much as I would love to be spontaneous, daring and exciting, I like to know where I'm up to. I think it relates to a lot of my personality. I'm a worrier, so I like to know what I'm doing and what is going to happen, and I think it also relates to my need for security. My obsessive-compulsive side lives by my lists and plans, and I get very frustrated when things take longer than anticipated and bleed into the next time-slot on my list.
I also have a very short attention span, low-tolerance for boredom and love to be busy. These three things alone mean I can't sit around waiting for an invite for something to do on Friday for Saturday morning. The thought of being bored drives me insane.
But I've always thought of my neurotic, highly-strung self as a negative part of my personality. I mean who wants an inflexible friend who has book-reading scheduled in on the night of a big party? Well, okay, I'm not that bad. But I do like my plans, but I can, and frequently am, flexible. A lot of things seem like a better offer than homework!! I tend to regret it the next day though when I have twice as much to do!! But I've started to realise that I need this obsessive, organized side. This is the side to help me achieve my goals. My determination, my never giving up.
Being organized is how I stay passionate, and how I avoid missing out on important dates and events and letting everything pass me by with a "shit, that was last week?"
It's hard to learn to love even the nasty bits of your personality, but if I can't love them then no-one else will!!
What bits of your personality drive you crazy? Are you laid backed and spontaneous, or neurotic and busy like me? I'd love to hear your thoughts :]]