All you need is love.
This dress has a funny story behind it. It was actually a gift from my boyfriend's dad. Don't worry, it's not as weird as it sounds. He picked it up at Goodwill for my boyfriend's Mum, but misread the label and got the wrong size, but they decided it would fit me- which it does!! We think it's an age 16 dress, which definitely accounts for the slightly strange fit. It's super-tight in the chest and the hips, but huge in the waist (hence the fact I'm pulling it back with my hand on my hip in half the photos), so I was worried it would look like I was swamped in it. It's an absolutely stunning dress though. When he told me it was navy polka dot and a vintage style, I knew I'd love it. It's a little longer than dresses I normally wear (however, that isn't saying much!!) and I'm contemplating getting it taken up, but I'm worried it would ruin the beautiful full style of the skirt. What do you think?
I'm a bit of a mess at the moment. I'm really trying to enjoy the moments I have left instead of thinking about leaving. It's hard. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with emotions and burst into tears over nothing. But I'm trying to stay focused. Erick doesn't want me to remember our last few days together as nights of crying. Last night he told me "I love you. That's all that matters." I know he's right, and I know we're going to be okay because we both want to make this work. But I'm going to miss my whole life here. I'm going to miss the freedom and the people and just living away in another country. Of course, I'm excited to go home and see my friends and family, but I wish I could just go home for a few weeks and come back again.
The last few days have been fun though. I bought Erick Dexter Season 3 for Valentines Day and it took us 3 months to finish it. On Sunday we borrowed Season 4 from his friend. We watched the whole season in 3 days. Maybe not a huge achievement, but I was really glad we found the time to watch it together. I'm excited for us to both watch Season 5 when I'm back home and talk about it on Skype. Today is my penultimate day at Erick's parents' house so I'm going to start my dreaded packing task and get some articles written (I feel like no matter how many articles I write I still have another million to write), and tonight Erick's parents are taking us to see Cirque Du Soleil! I've seen one of their shows before, but it was about 10 years ago now. I'm really excited to go tonight.
While I was in San Francisco, I really wanted the perfect nude-pink lipstick. That kind of soft pink you can wear with any makeup, that barely-there pink. Apparently, this colour does not exist. After trying on about a thousand lipsticks in Walgreen and spending 20 minutes with an assistant in Sephora, I gave up and went for this adorable bubblegum pink. Super soppy alert, but Erick hates it when I wear lipstick because it gets all over him when he kisses me, so I've decided when I miss him at home, I'll buy a lipstick. Something that reminds me of him, but something I couldn't wear when I'm with him. Something that reminds me that I have a wonderful boy in the States, but I also have my own independence and strength in myself. This is one thing I have to keep reminding myself about. Erick, much as I adore him, isn't the most open or emotional of people. He doesn't let things affect him, and he doesn't often tell you how he feels. This also extends to me. I know he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, but he doesn't tell me all the time because he just assumes I know. I can find this hard sometimes and it can make me needy. But I've decided when I go home I'm going to develop my inner confidence. I'm going to reassure myself that I'm beautiful, because he won't be there to tell me when I'm feeling down. I need to love myself more so he can keep loving me.
shoes- charlotte russe
lipstick- Make Up Forever
I'd better get back to packing. This is going to be my last outfit shoot for a few days now, but I'm sure you'll get some kind of emotionally-charged post tomorrow as I prepare to leave the country for good. I fly home on Friday morning and get back on Saturday morning so I probably won't get a chance to update again until Sunday or Monday. I just want to say thank you to you all for your wonderful support the last 9 months. You guys are amazing. Whether it's telling me I'm gorgeous when I'm feeling down, or reassuring me that my relationship will last long distance, you are all wonderful.
This blog is one of the best thing I've ever started, but I wouldn't be here without you all.
photos by my wonderful boyfriend, Erick