I really, really want to give you a super-long update about my week but I am absolutely exhausted. I'll probably fully fill you in on Sunday when I do my Week in Photos, which is liable to be epic this week!! I have had the most amazing experience working at S magazine this week and it has really helped me to realise that this is what I want to do with my life, as stressful and exhausting and not-quite-as-glamourous as it is. I am so ready for a good sleep and a chilled-out weekend!! These photos are from before I left but I never had a chance to post them!!
Okay, I was going to post this tomorrow on Sunday, but I'm going to do it now. When it comes to my blog, I like to post content that I would like to read. Selfish, maybe, but I like to think if I was viewing my blog from the outside that I would like it. I love outfit posts, which is why you get a lot of them, and I love actually reading about someone, their life and who they are. A big part of my blog is honesty. I am always completely honest with you guys. My blog is almost a diary to me, and I always try to document the good, and the bad. I was always very honest with you about my fears of moving to America, my homesickness, my relationship with Erick, my car crash and then mine and Erick's break up. Life isn't always easy, and while my Dad always tells me that I shouldn't share the bad stuff, that people read my blog for respite from their own lives, I disagree. There are certain bloggers who I get frustrated with because they only post about how perfect their lives are. Each to their own, of course, but I am a very open person, and I like to reflect that on my blog. Anyway, I digress.
I mentioned a few weeks ago that something significant, something difficult, was about to happen in my life and that I would share it with you when I was ready. Well, about 4 weeks ago now, I found out Erick was coming to England. I have made no bones about how difficult this break up has been and how hard I have found it. Finding this out shook me to my core. At first, I was adamant that I didn't want to see him, that I didn't want to deal with all these emotions coming back. That I was too upset, too angry, to face him. Eventually, however, rightly or wrongly, I decided I wanted to see him. A lot of people think I'm stupid for opening an old wound, but I feel I would regret not seeing him much more. So last week, I messaged him and tomorrow I am seeing him for the first time. 3 months after we broke up, and almost 5 months since I last saw him.
I've spent weeks worrying myself sick about it. Wondering what will happen, how to act, how he feels, how I feel, what I want, what he wants. But I've realised I can't plan for this. Whatever happens, happens. This could be the stupidest thing I've ever done, and I might end up back to square one crying myself to sleep every night. Or it could be great. I have no idea.
boots- London Rebel
plaid skirt- Primark
white shirt- Marks and Spencer
I was going to talk about the outfit, but I think I'll just leave it there for tonight.
This is such a chic look, I love the layered look with that cute plaid skirt! You look seriously gorgeous.ReplyDelete
I appreciate your honesty, your blog is just like a diary! Thats so hard that he's coming to England, it may be difficult, it could be good for closure though?
Love this whole black and white look! Super classy.ReplyDelete
OMG! Good luck!!
I really enjoy the openness of your blog. I've been in that same, awkward break-up see him again situation. I did the same thing and although it did hurt a little and my friends told me I was being stupid it really gave me the closure I felt I needed at the time.ReplyDelete
Awesome song title ;)ReplyDelete
You're right about opening old wounds, but you need to follow your heart - It might make you feel worse or it might realise that actually, you're okay. The last time I saw my ex I realised there was really thing there anymore after all that worrying, and I could relax so much more!!
I like that you're open in your blog posts, it shows you're human xxx
good Luck. u can do it.. :)ReplyDelete
I really love your openness on your blog; it's something I wish I could do with mine, have it be more of a diary of life. But my life doesn't feel interesting enough to do that. I should try harder.ReplyDelete
Best of luck seeing Erik! I hope that it gives you closure and peace, and not agony.
You look gorgeous in this outfit, by the way.
I love your openness, you don't see that in blogs very often because, as you say, people want to give the impression that their lives are perfect! I admire you, I'm not brave enough to share everything on my blog! Oh my gosh, good luck with Erick. I really hope everything goes ok xReplyDelete
ahh honey, good luck!! im nervous for you but hopefully it will give you some closure. xoReplyDelete
I like how honest you are on here! I try to be the same way,but sometimes I'm in such a terrible mood, it's easier to just write about nice things. :]]ReplyDelete
I'm so glad you're getting to see Erick. If nothing else, it might be a good bit of closure for you. I'll be thinking about you and sending good vibes your way! (I will admit, however, that most likely you're already asleep in bed in England... I'm sort of late to this commenting party, ha ha. ) :]
I know its hard if you will be parted away with your love one! Goodluck for seeing Erick!ReplyDelete
Half skirt, riding boots, sweaters, pearl necklace, a little out of date.ReplyDelete