Thursday, 21 October 2010

Why dressing for comfort makes me uncomfortable.



It's 8.33pm and I'm in the library.
When my housemate Kait turned to me in class and said "what you're doing tonight?", I thought a fun offer was on the agenda. When I answered "nothing", she responded "wanna come to the library with me?"
So here I am, obviously not doing homework.
While I'm checking my email every 15 seconds (hey!! I might have a blog comment...), reading my favourite blogs and generally procrastinating, I don't really feel myself.
Why? Because I'm dressed in jeans, a hoodie and UGG boots.
And I know most people would think "So? You're in the library!!", and this is why I thought I could get away with dressing this way. I'd gotten home from the gym and after a shower I just wanted comfort.
Usually on a Wednesday I get into my pajamas at 5.30pm and don't get out of them until the next morning.
I like comfort in my own house- you will almost never see me out of my dressing gown at home, even though I'm dressed up to the nines underneath.
But right now, I feel horribly uncomfortable.
I don't feel me at all.
I'm not the prettiest girl in the world.
I'm not the smartest.
I'm not the funniest.
I'm not the most fun.
I'm just me, and my way of expressing myself is not through my clever philosophical points in class or my hilarious jokes (though I am hilarious...) but through my clothes. And arguably, my pink hair.
Dressing in this way makes me feel like everybody else.
And it makes me feel like everyone is staring at me.
I'm not sure if it's because I have a weekly fashion column here at the University newspaper; I feel because of this an urge to look good all the time even more so than usual, and the fact that I wrote a scathing condemnation of sweatpants a few weeks ago in it. I feel that I shouldn't be allowed to dress for comfort, and I usually don't want to.
I don't like to be seen when I'm not looking my best.
Is this about people looking at me, how people perceive me, if people are judging me? Or it this about me, myself, my own fear of blending in and being like everyone else?
I'm not sure, but all I know is that right now, with my fringe plaid, my hair dry-shampooed and my makeup somewhat diminished from this morning, I don't feel right, I don't feel me.
Am I horribly shallow? I don't judge other girls for dressing in this way, not at all.
It just isn't the way I like to present myself.
Right now, I do feel comfortable, just not in the right way.

Charlotte xxx

6 comments:

  1. You're so funny! Guys normally think a girl looks her best when she's dressed down and casual. American guys at least.

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  2. I can relate, we all have our days!:D


    ***** Marie *****
    allthingsmarie.com

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  3. Kait has a point :) But I get what you mean, getting out of our comfort zone (in your case, being in comfortable clothing) makes anyone uncomfortable. Just try to relax!

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  4. I know how you feel, but when I see girls dressed like this I don't think any less of them and some days when I've been dancing all day the last thing I wanna do is get all dressed up and made up I just wanna put on something comfortable and easy and sod what anyone else thinks. I know easier said than done.

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  5. Charlotte! Whilst I do not feel the same (I am currently wearing joggers and a hoody and I'm very comfy too!) I did have a brainwave - I think as females we like to take an effort over our appearance because it is one thing we have control of - we cant control if we miss the bus, dont understand anything in a lecture or fall flat on our faces in front of everyone but we can control if we look good while we are failing miserably at life! So I just thought I would share, its the most profound thought I had all day!

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  6. I don't think it's shallow, but I do think it has more to do with your perception of yourself than with other people's. :) Some days just call for comfy clothes; think of it as giving yourself a break. Just cuz you're a successful fashion blogger and write a fashion column doesn't mean you don't deserve a day off now and again...people aren't gonna judge you for that, and if they do, they gots some kinda other problem that isn't anything personal toward you.

    I think once you truly feel comfy in your own skin, you'll feel good no matter what you're wearing! Fashion is a huge part of you, yes, and you're so excellent at it! But it's not ALL of you...there are loads of other things that make up "you" that are special. :) It doesn't have to be the only thing that defines you.

    xoxo

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