Quite often, just before we're about to go to sleep, either me or my boyfriend will pose a question which ensures we stay awake for at least another half an hour.
Curled up in bed last night I casually asked, "do you believe in fate?"
My boyfriend then went into an elaborate discussion of the retrospective nature of "everything happens for a reason" (he's a Philosophy minor), and it really made me think about the topic.
I'm not going to go into it in the blog world, but my boyfriend and I met through a long series of chance encounters and coincidences. Us meeting was the result of so many little things which could quite easily have not happened. But they did. And these tiny little details which could have meant nothing brought me together with someone who has completely changed my life. Is this all a matter of chance, or were they meant to happen?
I'm horribly insecure and awful at making decisions, so the premise that "everything happens for a reason" really works for me. It means that I can make a decision and feel safe that everything will be okay. I means that I can look back over my past mistakes and know they made me who I am today.
Of course, as I said last night, I have no idea yet if my boyfriend and I were "meant to be", and I'm not even sure if I believe in soul mates. But I do believe in two people who just click with each other meeting by chance and it being something amazing. But what would have happened if we hadn't met, if these little things hadn't happened? Would there be another fate waiting for me, or would something always have been missing?
Is fate just something we use to justify our failures and mistakes? It is a way of convincing ourselves that things are just "meant to happen"? Is it down to religion, or spirituality or simply a faith that everything will be okay?
I haven't done a musing post like this for a long time, and I'm sorry to those of you who are new to my blog and haven't experienced anything other than photos of what I'm wearing. Sometimes I just like to express how I feel to the world and this is my creative outlet.
So what do you think? Are things "supposed" to happen? What happens if they don't? Is there such thing as fate?
This is my favorite post you have ever written, because fate and the idea of what is meant to be has been something on my mind as of late.. This post really made me think, and these lines really resignated with me: "I'm horribly insecure and awful at making decisions, so the premise that "everything happens for a reason" really works for me. It means that I can make a decision and feel safe that everything will be okay. I means that I can look back over my past mistakes and know they made me who I am today."
You and I share the same mindset on that--- on fate. It's so easy to get caught up in past decisions that you wish you'd handled differently, but every decision leads us to a different path. I remember once, during my darkest hour, I did something foolish that should have ended my life.. but for some reason it didn't work. I lived. And I think that, some day, as I look into the eyes of the man I love, as I publish my first novel, and as I have my children... I'll be able to tell them it was fate.
Crazy! I asked my boyfriend the exact same question the other day even though I kind of already knew his answer because I've known him for so long. I have always believed in fate. In my life I've always been able to look back and see that everything worked out the way it should have. And now, when things are hard I know that one day I'll be able to look back and see that I had to go through it. No regrets. :)ReplyDelete
I don't believe as much in soul mates (although who knows?) because of our ability as humans to love so much.
Beautifully written darling! I'm a big fat ? on the fate issue, sometimes i believe in it, then sometimes i feel its our choices we make, but then im back at thinking our choices may be our fate. I dont know, I do think my boyfriend and I are meant to be together, nothing i've ever had has felt as right as he and i, not sure if it's forever but we've already changed each others lives as im sure you and your boy have which is an amazing thing :)ReplyDelete
Scrapbook de la Emma
I have no idea, really. I can get too wrapped up in thinking about stuff like this, so I tend to avoid it to save myself time. It's weird though, when you think about it. I mean, if you trace it back to its roots, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend if my cousin hadn't gotten a job at a deli downtown. I wouldn't have met my boyfriend if he hadn't quit his job and moved to Minneapolis in 2008. I wouldn't have met my boyfriend if my friend and co-worker hadn't moved to Fargo and went to school there right out of high school. I don't know if I believe in fate or anything like that, but it IS weird when you think about how different things could be today if one of those little things hadn't happened. I also sometimes think: if I had gone to a different high school, how different would things have been for me? Of course, we'll never know the answer, but it's fun to ponder about it!ReplyDelete
this is a tough one..I do believe in fate but I also think that you are in control of the decisions you make....i guess that doesnt really flow together but I cant see believing in one or the other. In other news I gave you an award today, stop by and check it out. Cheers!ReplyDelete
i love this post, it's so insightful.ReplyDelete
i do the same with my boyf, say goodnight and then lay chatting for like another hour!
you've literally already said anything i could think of saying, i believe in fate, but sometimes i don't. like, my boyfriend now was my friend for about ten years previous, i think it's fate that he kissed me at the exact moment that i've only ever wanted him to (then we never looked back), but what the hell took it so long? he has had some pretty awful relationships while we've been friends (cheating etc.) while i was just casually his friend, so if we were "meant to be" together, why the hell didn't it happen sooner?!
rambley post, but it made sense when i was typing it!
love, emma xx