Wishing Your Life Away
Last night, in a stressful essay-induced fit I bemoaned, I wish I was 22nd December.
Okay, I was stressed and to some extent I do stand by that remark.
But I wish I didn't.
My Dad always tells me "not to wish your life away" and I know what he means.
Some days just feel like filler, waiting for the future, waiting for something to happen.
But we are living in the future. We are living in the times that our past self was waiting for.
Of course, I don't recall many times that I woke up thinking "woop! one more day down, come on final's week!!", but at the same time, I waited and planned for years for my year abroad.
Okay, having 5 assignments and 4 finals coming up, along with the insane number of articles I have agreed to write over the next few weeks is hardly fun fodder. In fact, I hate it and wish it was all over.
But life is for living, right? It's not all rainbows.
I wanted to get a degree, I wanted to come to America, so I have to deal with the rain, right?
But it's hard. It's hard to live in the moment when I'm so stressed and just excited to get back home. But I know that wishing it was the future won't help. Haven't you see 13 Going on 30? (If you haven't, you should!)
I do wish it was 22nd December, but I'm sure I'll have a great time over these next few weeks and I despite the hard work I have to do, I can't waste this time wishing I was back home.
The fact is, I'm only here for a year, and of course, it wasn't idyllic and perfect, but it's like. And I did what I wanted to do.
So now I guess I have to stay focuses, stay in the moment, and don't let life run by without me.
Because in a year's time I don't want to have any regrets about my year abroad.
I'm going to appreciate all the time that I have left, even if it means just being happy that I have 11 days until my first exam!!
Life is what happens while you're making other plans, right?
God I don't think I have ever agreed with a post so much. I always promised myself that I wouldn't wish my life away, but lately I've been finding myself wishing that either the weekend didn't come or it passed really quickly because I absolutely hate my new job. There's no enjoyment in life when we feel like that.ReplyDelete
I feel exactly the same way! "Filler" days. It frustrates me to no end. Trying, trying to live every day to its maximum when in reality, there are days that are supposed to be just days to get to the next. Bah. It's so frustrating! It's all for the greater good (at least, I tell myself that) so that I will get to the point where I am living every day in a fairytale that I've worked towards!ReplyDelete
Ugh for filler days. I get the same feeling a lot actually like if I could just make it to the weekend then I will have something fun to do but i need to start seeing that everyday should be fun....easier said than doneReplyDelete
Great post! My first finals are on Friday, and I've definitely been feeling the "filler" days. But, you're right. Life is for the present. :)ReplyDelete
Everyone has does like this when they're in university, especially when exams are coming up and there are papers due in every class. You aren't really wishing your life away so much as you're wishing the unpleasant work away :) Good luck with everything, and have a wonderful trip home!ReplyDelete